YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
