No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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