I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
