i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
