butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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