Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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