Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
