Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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