I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
