And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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