Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I did not marry a roomba.
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