Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
