i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize