things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
