i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
