Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize