I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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