Will you blow on my dice?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
