she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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