Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This house was built for laser tag.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
