Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
