Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
