and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
