i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
