summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
