I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize