You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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