Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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