He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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