I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
