Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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