these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
