You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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