I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
