Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
