Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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