My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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