just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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