Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
