butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
