She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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