3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
