When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
