dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
