There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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