Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
