5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
