You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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