On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just threw up on my dentist
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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