her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize