I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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