At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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