Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize