I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize