Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
