I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
