I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So vagazzling was a success
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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