Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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