you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
