Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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