I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize