White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
