Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
