Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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