I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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